5 Tips to Thrive as a WAHM

5 Tips to Survive Thrive as a WAHM

I did not picture myself as ever being a work-at-home mom. I imagined I would take my three-month maternity leave, and then head back to the office, breast pump (and sometimes baby) in tow. I certainly didn’t imagine myself barely hanging on and getting nothing done while being a mediocre caretaker. But that is what it felt like was happening. Something had to change. So I took a few steps to help me thrive as a WAHM.

Once I actually had kids, I quickly realized that spending time with them was much more important than anything I could be doing at work. But, I still need to work. When I went back to work after having my second little one, it just did not work out for our family. A few unfortunate events, some childcare issues, and a lot of stress later and I decided to take more time off, indefinitely. 

But, as you know, bills do not take maternity leave.

So, here I am, an unlikely work at home mom. And I have gone from pulling my hair out, dumping my toddler in front of the TV, begging for naps, always behind, and never having a clean house to something better. While I am not exactly caught up, and my house will likely never be all that clean (see below…), I certainly feel like I am a lot closer to thriving than just surviving. 

If you feel that feeling of overwhelm, like you are drowning in laundry, unreturned phone calls, and a to-do list as long as your monthly grocery receipt, I get it. I was there (sometimes still am). But, I have spent the last few months really trying to move away from survival mode. And I am getting there. One day at a time. 

I have a few tips to help you get there as well. If you’re anything like me, you’ll have great days (Damn! Look at how much I got done!) and terrible ones (no one slept at all today, I didn’t even brush my teeth). But know, they get better with a little practice, just like everything else.

So, here are my 5 tips to help you thrive as a WAHM: 

1. Make a plan

This is likely your most important step. Make a plan at the beginning of the day, week, and month, perhaps even year or few years. If you know where you want to be, you can make each day count. Determine what will move the needle and what definitely won’t.

If you know where you want to be in a few years, you can more easily make each day, week, and month count.  

It has been said that we overestimate how much we can do in a day but completely underestimate what we can do in a year (if we stick to something). So determine where you want to be at the end of the day, at the end of this week, and at the end of the month. 

And, if your plan is “get through today,” then that is as good a plan as any. Been there. You’ll get to thrive as a WAHM another day!

2. Consider the 1 – 3 – 5 Plan

This has been the biggest shift for me to go from barely surviving and constantly stressed to a little closer to thriving. I call it my 1 – 3 – 5 Plan. Every day, week, month (and eventually, year), I determine the one thing I need to get done. Then I think about the top three things, and the top five things. 

I start there. No matter what.

Every single day (unless it is a scheduled appointment), I finish my most important project (or make a dent in it) first. The number one thing always gets done. And it is always something that moves the needle in my business.

Now, if the day goes by, and you’ve only gotten one thing done, but it is the most important thing on your list, you’ll feel pretty productive and that important thing is not hanging over your head. This used to be my biggest problem. I would have an important, business changing project, and it would never get done. But, I would catch up on my Instagram feed and the laundry would be done.

Think hard about this each day.

Now, do the first thing, first. Yes, FIRST. Do not do anything else (other than take care of your kids) until you have completed the number one thing on your list. If you are going to do one thing, do this, and be relentless about it. Schedule it. It is so easy to do paperwork when we should be working on calling new clients. It is so easy to tidy up the kitchen when you should be creating your editorial calendar. Don’t fall into the habit. 

If I have an appointment, the appointment becomes the number one thing. If I only make it to a client meeting and do nothing else that day, I call it a win. 

This gets easier as you practice it. Once you’ve done the one thing, move on to the second and third things. Give yourself a little reward. You’ve accomplished something!  

Everything else goes on my master to-do list. Some of it will get done, but likely, a lot of that list will never get done. But, guess what? It’s ok. Those things aren’t that important in my business, don’t have a deadline, aren’t saving me money, and no one is relying on me to do them. 

3. Cut Out Everything Unnecessary

And most of it is unnecessary.

Cutting out the unnecessary is almost as important as determining and doing the necessary. I think that determining what doesn’t need to get done, what would be nice to get done, and what is absolutely imperative is the most important thing that has moved me from overwhelm and survival mode, to actually making progress.

Like you, I have an ever-growing to-do list. But, I realize that I am not going to get much of it done. So, I write it on my master list, revisit that list about once a week, and leave it. If it doesn’t make my top five items or will likely take more than five or ten minutes, it either will get done another day, will get delegated, or may never get done. Most of the time, it doesn’t matter.

You cannot thrive as a WAHM by overcommitting.

So, let that sh*t go. And cut out almost everything.

I say no to appointments and meetings all the time. I put my phone down and only answer necessary emails (more on that later), and I forgive myself when things don’t get done.

4. Know Your Triggers

There was a time when I could not ignore dirty laundry or dishes. Just could not. If the laundry was not done, I could not work. If the dishes weren’t done, I would stop whatever I was doing and finish them up. Even if it was just one plate. That caused a lot of interrupted tasks.

Realizing this, and making a conscious effort to either get the dishes done before I start work, or forcing myself to ignore them until a certain task was done is important.

Figure out what these triggers are for you. Then, figure out the best way to either ignore them temporarily or schedule a time to get them done.

5. Try The Pomodoro Technique

The Pomodoro Technique has changed my work habits so dramatically I can’t rave about it enough. Basically, you give yourself a set amount of time (usually 25 minutes, but occasionally, if I’m feeling especially focused, I will up it to 45 minutes) and work on one thing. Only one thing, unless you finish it. After the 25 minutes are up, take a break. Usually 5 minutes, but I will sometimes give myself ten to fifteen. 

I usually use these five minutes to clean up or do personal paperwork, like paying bills. I will address my triggers (see above) first. And then do any other neatening up. I am always surprised how much I can get done in five minutes. 

I also use these breaks to go over my to-do list and get any quick and necessary tasks done, like sign up for pizza day at school or make doctors appointments. Sometimes, I zone out on my phone. But I always set a timer, so I don’t get sucked into social media or admin projects like I used to.

The breaks are imperative. The only way to thrive as a WAHM is to actually take the breaks.

Bonus Tip: Forgive Yourself When It Doesn’t Get Done

Sometimes, things just aren’t going to get done. The kids will nap at different times (or not at all), an unexpected emergency will come up, or you just can’t find a way to motivate. Whatever the reason, forgive yourself. Work on the number one project tomorrow. Figure out what went wrong, if it is a motivational thing, and work on fixing it tomorrow. But don’t dwell on what didn’t get done. Give yourself credit for the small things. That feeling of success can often give you just a little bit more motivation to get through the next thing!

As you can see, for me to Surviving thrive as a work-at-home mom, I mostly have to manage my time (and my expectations of myself). Often, kids + career = chaos (at least for me) and the chaos leads to feeling overwhelmed. If I can really focus on getting just a few things done, and find success in those things, I am a much happier, more motivated, more relaxed mom. I am then able to put the work out of my mind and focus on the two little dudes that matter most.

Want more? See 5 More Tips to Help You Thrive as a WAHM!