How to Work From Home During Stressful Times

How the world has changed in just a few weeks!

We are in an unprecedented time. There is a global pandemic that has altered the course of every single business and every single family. Many of us are heading to work each day knowing that we are on the frontlines, keeping the world afloat. Healthcare workers, grocery store employees, gas station attendants, all faces of the economy that are keeping our lives as close to safe and normal as possible. Many others have lost their jobs, another enormous stressor.

The rest of us are at home. Some with children, others without. Some with significant others or roommates, some completely alone. Online conference calls, yoga pants as work wear, and the call of just one more episode on Netflix are our new normal. We are being asked to care for our children, continue their education for the final quarter of the 2019 – 2020 school year, and maintain our households while only going to the store once a week (if that).

On top of all of that, we are expected to do our jobs.

This may be all but impossible. But, I have put together a few ideas and strategies on how to work from home during stressful times. As we all try to create some semblance of normalcy, I hope this will help ease some of your anxiety and help you to get just a tiny bit more out of your day.

Keep in mind,

You are not working from home, you are at home, during a crisis, trying to work.

Pretty much sums it up. It is probably the most important thing to remember during these anxiety-inducing time.

How to Work from Home During Stressful Times

Get dressed.

It is important. I know that we are all (or at least almost everyone I have talked to) are letting ourselves go a little. I think this is fine. I left my makeup in the car for six days and didn’t even notice. But, I still get dressed for work. Obviously nothing fancy, usually just a favorite pair of jeans and a tee. Getting dressed is one of the easiest ways to set ourselves up for a productive day. It helps delineate between work and life.

I talk more about getting dressed for work here, with some outfit ideas. Those tips are for normal times. To work from home during stressful times, I think we can all agree the “dress code” can be a little looser. But put on pants. For sure, pants (and not your husband’s flannel pants. As much as they call to you, resist). It’ll help.

Choose Your News.

During times of global crises, we need to stay informed. Right now, it is important for us all to know our local social distancing guidelines, as much updated info on how to stay healthy, and tips on how to keep our kids happy and busy. With all of this information pushed at us, it is easy to get distracted. And then consumed by it.

You read one article, see a related one, get curious about something else, and all of a sudden 45 minutes later…well, you haven’t been working have you?

One of the ways that I combat this, is by choosing how and when I get my news. I do not allow myself to randomly read articles. Facebook and Twitter are off limits, at least till the end of the day. I get a few daily news summaries that I allow myself to read during breaks (but don’t allow myself to click on the articles until after my work day). I do not have any news related push notifications on my phone. I have a list of sites that I know and trust, and that is where I get my news. That is it.

When the news is everywhere, when COVID-19 (or anything else that controls more than a few news cycles) is all anyone can talk about, it sometimes is hard to escape it. You have to choose how and when you will consume your news or it will get the better of your work day (and likely your mental health too).

Set Expectations with Significant Others, Roommates, and Children

Well…if possible.

A few weeks ago, when our school closed and it was recommended that seniors self-isolate (but before we were all asked to social distance), I panicked. “I have NO childcare!” School was out and my in-laws were off limit. “What am I going to do? I need those hours!!!”

My husband and I immediately sat down to go over a potential schedule and expectations of what “childcare” looks like when we both need to work (if you’re wondering, I would describe it as “imperfect” and “messy,” but that is pretty run of the mill).

At the beginning of the week, we talk about any upcoming appointments or deadlines so that we can do our best to get the other one the time that they need. Do I have an important call that needs silence? Get it on the joint calendar and have him take the kids out.

Thursday has become my weekday workday. I get as much uninterrupted time as possible with two little ones running around and a husband who is also trying to work from home. But, he is the lead caregiver on Thursdays.

The key is to set expectations about what is up ahead, what is important, what is non-negotiable, and then to work with those around you to make it happen.

Set Expectations with Coworkers, Bosses, Clients

You need to also set expectations with the people you work with.

With different childcare schedules come different work schedules. I find myself working much more often at night and on the weekends (but who cares, we can’t go to a music festival or out of town!). This works for almost everything that I do. I need one day a week to do the client facing work.

I have set the expectations with my clients that if they need an uninterrupted call, that we need to schedule it around 7 a.m., after 9 p.m. (not very popular!) or on Thursdays.

And every single client gets it.

When I get a call on a Tuesday, I remind them that I will likely get interrupted but will do what I can, and can follow up later that night. Many of my clients enjoy hearing the little voices on the other side (or at least they pretend to!). Many of them are also working on t

Develop a Rhythm, Rather than a Schedule

We have fallen into a bit of a rhythm through all of this, and I found that it has been much less stressful than following a tight schedule. Some days, I find that I have more time to get things done, others not as much. But with a rhythm, we have a bit of flexibility for things to go wrong (they do) and the ability to accomplish a bit more when the go right (they also do).

If you can, set up a rough outline of your day. Scheduled meetings and calls need to be written in first. Then determine a flow around those things. On my work days, I spend the first 15 minutes or so getting my bearings on the day. Then I spend the rest of the morning into the afternoon doing the most important project of the day (or the one that is causing me the most stress). If it bleeds into the afternoon, it does. If it doesn’t get finished, oh well. Then, when I’ve gotten as much as I can get done, I take a break, eat a bit, maybe take a walk. The afternoons usually have more frequent interruptions, so I spend them working on things that don’t require as much concentration, take less time, and are quick checkboxes on my to do list.

On my non-work days, we do the same thing. Our days follow a pattern, but not a schedule. It gives us a little more time for extra love when the kids are sad, extra outside time when they seem to have an overabundance of energy and extra downtime when they don’t.

Setting a rhythm helps when the unexpected comes up. When a toddler interrupts or the online conference call gets interrupted by the host’s cat. When someone needs a snuggle and only you will do. When you follow a rhythm, you don’t feel as much of an urgent need (which leads to more anxiety) to get back to what you were doing because you must finish it by a certain time.

Be Flexible. And Forgiving.

You’ve set expectations with everyone in your world, agreed to schedules, and are working around kids, spouses, dogs, spotty internet, and anxious colleagues.

It can all be very frustrating. But with a bit of flexibility and a lot of forgiveness (both for ourselves and others), we can get through this a little better.

Last week, I was onboarding a client. At the tail end of the call, which went long, of course, my preschooler burst into the room and demanded my attention. And not for something specific. He just wanted to be with me. There was nothing his papa could do for him. He wanted to sit on my lap and talk to me and “boop” my nose and tell me a story.

My husband repeatedly tried to distract him, even carrying him out of the room. I then locked the door. He immediately started screaming and banging on the door.

The client I was talking to laughed a little, told me he remembered those days, and then told me to give him a call back later. He said most of his afternoon was free and that he would make himself available. What a wonderful feeling to be able to set aside something important to do something important. Without judgement, without frustration, without any expectations that I “should” be able to handle both kids and work.

Can you imagine the relief I felt?

I was able to attend to my little one, and then catch up later, more relaxed and much more focused.

If we all had this level of flexibility and forgiveness, not to mention compassion, we could get through stressful times much easier (and with a better connection to our clients and coworkers) in the end.

Realize that the Grass is Not Always Greener. But Sometimes it Is.

I had a conference call with a single colleague. While we were talking, he had a cup of coffee. I had three. All three of them were spilled on me (thankfully, I drink cold brew!). In less than 15 minutes. It would have been funny, but I ran out of coffee after the third spill.

In those moments, he made a comment about how life had someone how made it so he didn’t have kids, and sometimes, he was super grateful. “I know,” I said. “You should be.” Obviously, I don’t feel that way, but in that moment, I was stressed and frustrated.

Some home situations work better for all of this. Some do not.

While I don’t have the luxury of many quiet conference calls, I do have kids that wake me up in the morning, force me to get outside each day, and prevent me from binge watching “Mrs. Maisel” for six hours straight. They motivate me to get my work done quickly and efficiently so that I can play later. They motivate me to get to bed at a reasonable hour, and keep me from mindlessly scrolling through Instagram.

Everyone’s situation is different, and uniquely imperfect for all of this. Realizing that is incredibly helpful. And it helps with the compassion.

Have a Sense of Humor

Cats on keyboards, kids dancing in the background, lots of spilled coffee, background noises, bosses disguised as potatoes….the unexpected happens on virtual conference calls.

So much can go wrong when working at home, especially during a crisis. Finding ways to laugh about it makes the entire thing much more endurable. Laugh with your coworkers and clients, laugh at yourself.

If you can lighten the mood, without being unprofessional, it is almost always appreciated.

Have Patience

Working from home is difficult. Some of us love it and find that we are able to concentrate best at home. Most people do not find this to be true.

Have patience with yourself as you get used to this new normal.

Don’t expect to get as much done as you were able to in your office (especially now, while working with spouses, kids, dogs that aren’t used to having you home).

Working from home offers new distractions that take time to ignore or avoid. For the first few years that I worked from home, I felt compelled to do the dishes and laundry. If they weren’t done, I couldn’t work. I am now able to ignore them. But it took years and a lot of willpower.

Setting up your workspace takes time, getting used to the pull of your housework, your kids, your Netflix queue, your bed, all take time.

And, if you find your life looking a little like this:

know that I am right there with you. Take a breath, understand that, like most crises, this one too, shall pass. We will get through this, and hopefully be more compassionate and more focused. And if not, we’ll at least be more realistic about where we want to work, and when!