Mindful Parenting and Phone Use: What I Learned From Losing My Phone for a Weekend

How an accidental phone-free weekend taught me about presence, mindful parenting, and creating calm in our overly connected world.

Two weeks ago, I accidentally left my phone in my friend’s car just as she was heading out of town for the weekend. We were camping, so I figured… whatever. I’d survive two days without it.

I didn’t just survive. I kind of… thrived? It got me thinking…

What if mindful technology use could actually make us calmer, more present moms?

The first day, I noticed I was reaching for my pocket, feeling that phantom buzz, getting that little spike of panic when I remembered it wasn’t there. You know that feeling, right?  

I missed a few photo ops (because of course the kids were just so adorably filthy and happy) and I regret that a bit. 

But on day 2, something shifted.

I watched my kids play “possum tag” for what felt like hours without while I had uninterrupted conversations with other parents. I noticed things at the campsite—the way the light filtered through the trees, how I could hear my oldest son laughing no matter where he was. 

I got bored. 

And was grateful for it. I started (and finished) a book. I sat in stillness, fell asleep moments after getting in bed (that may have been the result of a tough night the night before, but who knows). 

When I got my phone back, I was like, do I even want this thing anymore?

Going completely phone-free isn’t realistic for most of us. And I realistically wouldn’t want to be that disconnected in the long run. It would be impossible for me to live this life – my kids are happily swinging at a park and I’m using the downtime to get this post up and published. 

But the weekend got me thinking about something I’ve been thinking about for awhile:  our phones are both an escape and a source of overwhelm, and I’m not sure I’m handling either part very well.

Our Phones

They’re complicated, aren’t they? 

They’re a lifeline—connecting us to support, helping us capture memories, giving us a break when we’re touched out and need five minutes of mindless scrolling. 

But they’re also… overwhelming. The notifications, the comparison trap of social media, the expectation of constantly being available and responsive. I mean, have you ever gotten that “hello?” text a few hours after someone asked a question? Ugh. 

I’ve been that overwhelmed mom scrolling through Instagram while my kids try to show me something “really important” (probably a rock or the same “trick” I’ve seen 87 times, but still). I’ve felt the mom guilt – knowing I want to be present but feeling the pull of my phone. And I’ve definitely started scrolling for five (ten? twenty?) minutes when I meant to just check the time. 

It’s addicting and I’m still figuring it out.

Mindful Tech Use

A phone-free weekend reminded me: It’s not about perfection or going completely offline. It’s about intention.

Creating Little Pockets of Peace

You don’t need to lose your phone in someone’s car to experience what I felt. Maybe it’s just putting it in another room during dinner. Or charging it in the kitchen overnight instead of next to your bed. 

Small changes, but they create space for… breath. Presence. The kind of moments that actually matter.

I want my kids to remember a mom who was present, not constantly distracted by a device.

Teaching Our Kids (While We’re Still Learning Ourselves)

Maybe the hardest part about mindful tech use is modeling it for our kids when we’re still figuring it out ourselves.

My kids are watching everything I do with my phone. How I use it, when I reach for it, whether I put it down when they’re talking to me. They’re absorbing all of it, and it’s both terrifying and motivating.

We’re long past trying to be screen free (that ended the moment the nausea hit during my second pregnancy). And certainly not trying to raise them to think screens or any technology is bad. But I do want them to have a healthy relationship with them. To see them as tools and occasional entertainment. 

But I want to make sure they know that real life is happening right in front of them and is richer, sweeter, better than anything they can find on a screen. 

The Mental Load of Constant Connection

It is exhausting to be constantly reachable. The mental load of every notification, every social media update, every text that needs a response?

When I think about those “unreachable times” I experienced while camping, I feel a bit more relaxed. Not because I want to go back to flip phones (though that red Nokia is pretty tempting some days), but because there was something so freeing about not being available to everyone, all the time.

We’re allowed to limit other people’s access

When I got my phone back, obviously I had a few things to respond to. I missed a tentatively scheduled appointment. I felt guilty for inconveniencing someone. 

But, I did not miss the feeling of needing to answer every question as it came in. It was a reminder that I do not need to respond immediately. I almost always have my notifications turned off, but I still find myself looking at my phone and feeling an urge to answer. 

We’re allowed to not respond immediately. We’re allowed to turn off notifications. We’re allowed to prioritize our mental health over other people’s access to us. 

I’m trying to remind myself of this when people come to the door as well! 

Finding Balance in the Scroll

I’m not going to tell you I’m going to delete social media (I won’t) or get a dumb phone, but I am going to say this: I plan to be more intentional about what I’m consuming and when. 

That comparison trap is real. The mom guilt amplified by perfect Instagram feeds is real. The overwhelm of constant input is real.

I plan to find larger chunks of time to be phone and screen free. I love Tiffany Schlain’s phone sabbath idea, although I haven’t figured out which day works best for me. So, instead, I’ll work on chunks of each day. Dinners, bedtimes, pickups, and mornings before school are all already screen-free. I’m considering larger chunks and more intentional breaks. 

I also plan to be more intentional about what and why I’m scrolling. I’ve started asking myself: Does this make me feel better or worse? Am I enjoying myself? Does this inspire me or drain me? Am I scrolling with purpose or just… scrolling? Can I let myself just sit and be a little bored? 

Sometimes the answer is uncomfortable, but it’s helping me make better choices about how I spend my mental energy and my time (especially after bedtime). 

Progess

I’ve been talking about this for years and still working on it. I still reach for my phone too often. I still get sucked into social media when I meant to just send a quick text. I still feel guilty about screen time and the messages I’m sending and then feel guilty about feeling guilty.

But that weekend without my phone reminded me of something important: We have more control than we think we do.

We can create boundaries. We can model healthy habits for our kids. We can choose presence over productivity, connection over content consumption. We can find moments of peace in the middle of our very connected, very overwhelming world.

And, we can be bored. It’s good for us too! 

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being intentional.

Ready to create more mindful moments in motherhood?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the constant demands of motherhood and want to create more present, peaceful moments with your kids, I’d love to help.

Start with the 5-Day Slow Motherhood Challenge.

You’ll get five days of emailed ideas and tips to create a calmer home and more connected family life. And there’s no phone-detox necessary. Get access here:

What about you? Have you ever had an unexpected break from your phone that surprised you? Share your story in the comments. I’d love to hear about it—the good, the bad, and the complicated feelings that came with it.