Pandemic Fatigue is Real. Here’s What You Can Do About It
Are you feeling pandemic fatigue? Exhaustion? Burnout? Yeah. Me too.
As a nation, we are in the midst of one of our darkest winters in history. And you know what?
It sucks. It really does. We have been doing this for almost a year. Every single holiday, event and milestone has now been celebrated in isolation.
We are bored, our kids are nagging us (probably because they are a bit bored, too), we miss our friends and our conversations with the sweet girl at the Sprouts checkout counter are going way too long (human connection, right?). We just want a hug from someone who isn’t our kid. Btw, is anyone else touched out?
And, we know we must keep going. This month is really turning into the longest year of our lives. Ugh.
Many of us have Pandemic Fatigue. And, I am one of them. Just the other day, my toddler asked me when we were going to see his grandma again. I huffed (and immediately regretted), “I don’t know. Maybe never.”
Of course it will end, but in the meantime, we need to acknowledge that
Pandemic fatigue is real
Fortunately, there are things we can do to fight it that still allow safe social distancing.
7 Ways to Fight Pandemic Fatigue:
1. Get Outside
Of course this is not new advice, but as I’ve mentioned before – sometimes this is a space for me to remind myself of things that I need to do!
Yes. It is January. And yes, I do realize that it is easier for me to say this as it is currently a cool 65 here. But, even just a few minutes of fresh air and sun (if you have it!) can do wonders for our mindset and mood.
Try to find some solace in nature. Take a brisk walk. Play in the puddles. Sit by an outdoor fire. Just get outside for a few minutes. And bring your kids! https://unlikelywahm.com/slow-motherhood-challenge-get-outside-no-matter-what/
Take a walk somewhere new or find a new park for your kiddos. Try a kid-friendly farm (if you’re in Southern California, we love Amy’s https://www.amysfarm.com/). Play “every nooks and crannies” in your neighborhood. Or just sit on your sidewalk and relax.
3. Give Yourself permission to say “Eff It!”
But use the real word.
A few weeks ago, we watched Trolls three times in a row. Three f*cking times. In a row. And you know what, I felt guilty. But, I was exhausted, the kids had spent most of the morning whining, and my burnout was on high. I needed a minute (and got a few hours). I just couldn’t bring myself to say no. So, I didn’t and we watched Trolls, again.
And, that is ok. I said “eff it!” to my rules, to our plans for the day, to it all. And I sat on the couch, ate a few cookies, and relaxed with my kids. And, I think we were all the better for it.
Look, much of this is just survival, getting through it (link). So, survive. Get through it. Some days are harder than others. And, some days are even harder than that. And on those days, it’s ok to just give yourself a break and say “Eff it!” Say it loud if you need to.
3. Try again tomorrow.
Right after we watched Trolls for the third time, I took the kids for a short walk around the neighborhood. We picked up some candy from the corner store (eff it!). And I told myself that I needed to let it go. That tomorrow, I would plan something, do something, teach them something better and we would limit screen time. And you know what, we did.
And a few days later, we watched more than one movie. It’s a rollercoaster over here, folks. It just is.
4. LET IT GO!
Like I said, it’s a roller coaster over here. Some days, I’ve packed a couple-hour-long hike, a craft that somehow both kids enjoyed, a healthy lunch, and an after dinner walk into our day. I’ve found time to connect with both kids for at least a few minutes and everyone goes to bed happy.
Some days.
Some days, there is way too much screen time. Most days, I have bribed at least one of my kids with a sweet. And most days at least one of us has ended up crying.
A few weeks ago, I mentioned this to my therapist. Her first response? “So what?” “So what if you give your kids a little extra screen time so you have a moment to finish a project, clean the kitchen, or even take a moment for a little self-care?”
She’s right. So, here I am, letting them watch Trolls. Again. And letting it go.
And that goes for everything. We need to allow ourselves to let go of everything: the kitchen will eventually be clean (eventually, I hope!), the laundry will get put away (or worn before that), that report will get done, that email will get sent… eventually. But sometimes, we just need to let it all go.
5. Do whatever you can to get even just a moment of self-care.
Back to my therapist. When giving me permission to let it go, she mentioned self-care. Just a moment or two of self-care and selfishness can go a long way. Btw, selfishness is not a bad word.
I know, you don’t have time for a long bath (and your kids would walk in on you and probably try to jump in the tub anyway) but find something. Even if it is something super small.
For me, it is often indulging in some Walker’s Shortbread cookies that I hide from my family and a big glass of wine while watching about ten minutes of whatever TV indulgence that I am obsessed with now (The Duchess, anyone?).
It is not much, but it feels great. And it helps restore some of the “me” that seems to go missing during the day.
Self-care means taking care of your mental health.
Speaking of my therapist… go to therapy. Or do whatever you need to do to take care of your mental health.
Check in with yourself regularly and make sure you aren’t suffering from depression, unusual levels of anxiety, loneliness, or anger, or self-destructive thoughts. Notice If you can’t sleep, eat, or otherwise meet your basic needs. If you are feeling like this, get professional health and remember you’re not alone. The pandemic has created a mental health crisis but you don’t need to be a casualty.
I consider my therapy appointments self-care and they have made an enormous difference in my ability to cope with this pandemic, my children’s moods, my own moods and the setbacks that inevitably happen each and every day. It is one of the best things I’ve done for myself in the past year.
6. Be gentle with yourself.
My preschooler is obsessed with the virus and the vaccine. Every few days, he needs a list of the people that we know who have had it and a list of who has been vaccinated. He doesn’t understand why I haven’t been vaccinated: “Well, you’re an adult, mama.”
And when I explained that nurses and doctors get it first, he said, about his grandma, “Oh, I thought grandma was an ordinary person.” We will never tell her that! Anyway….
We have regular, reassuring, and gentle conversations about what is happening. I give him as much information as I think a pretty sharp four-year-old can handle. These conversations happen with a lot of patience and compassion.
And, in times like this, that patience and compassion comes easy for me (which, as you might know, I struggle with patience – link).
We find it easy (or at least easier) to give patience and compassion to our kiddos, but we need reminders to give ourselves this level of patience and compassion as well. This is your reminder.
Be gentle with yourself. Understand the toll this pandemic may be taking on your mind, your relationships, your body, your spirit. And be gentle, forgiving, patient, and compassionate.
7. Remind yourself that this will end.
Yes, of course, we know it will end. The end is (for the first time, perhaps) in sight. We know people who have been vaccinated, maybe we have. Most of the grandparents in our lives are at least on a waiting list. Healthcare workers are vaccinated. And, we have an administration that cares to see this through in a responsible and humane way. The end is in sight. Repeat it with me. The end is in sight. We will see our friends again.
Bonus Tip: Try to find the silver lining.
I am not trying to minimize the collective trauma, grief, loneliness, and illness associated with this pandemic.
But, for our family, a few good things have come from it. We have slowed down even more. I have found time to watch my kids in a way that I wouldn’t have if life continued on. Just watch them. We have explored most of our county’s regional parks, and I have realized the value in many of the loose relationships that I had before the pandemic (the parents at pickup have become my best friends and I look forward to the fifteen or so minutes after school).
I have developed a few habits that I will keep, once the pandemic ends.
None of this would have happened without this pandemic. And while it is sometimes hard to remember, I am grateful.
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Have you suffered from pandemic fatigue?
I would love to hear how you’ve dealt with it. Or, if you haven’t, I’d love to hear your story as well.
Consider the comments on this post a place to vent, complain, or commiserate. I usually try to keep it positive, but have at it…
Most importantly, take care of yourself.
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