A Slow Motherhood Challenge
A Slow Motherhood Challenge
You have probably heard about slow fashion, slow food and even slow beauty. I’d like to make a case for slow motherhood (or fatherhood, honestly just slow parenting. I am going to refer to it as motherhood, because most of my readers are moms, but if you are a dad, an auntie, a grandma, any kind of caretaker – this is for you too!).
The kind of motherhood that is child led. That puts everything away and watches. The un-scheduled, un-rushed, completely focused motherhood that creates real memories (not just photo ops).
After my first year of motherhood, I became desperate to slow things down. I swear, if I paid attention, I could actually see them growing. My first baby isn’t a baby anymore, and is quickly becoming a kid. How fleeting these toddler years are. My baby, while still a baby, knows that we are two separate people (that was a hard milestone for me).
And it is all happening so fast.
You have heard the expression, “the days are slow but the years are fast,” I’m sure. I feel like even the days are fast. At the end of the day, I often find myself thinking, “What did we do?” or “Where did the day go?” or even “I felt like I didn’t even spend time with them” after an entire day with them.
So, I am working to slow it all down. To sit and watch. Watch as my little ones figure things out (no matter how long it takes and until he asks for help). Watch as he digs in the patio, as he talks to the dog. And as they both sleep. Oh, the sleeping angel faces.
To let them take me on a walk. To not say “ok, let’s go” or “c’mon.” To admire an interesting truck or a cool looking dirt pile.
I am working on really embracing slow mornings. Before school, or before our activity, we play outside, I do a bit of yoga, and we eat a hoomecooked breakfast (and not just a quick scrambled eggs on toast. I actually chop vegetables, some mornings). We soak in that beautiful morning sun. And again, I watch them.
And, sometimes it feels great. But more often, it feels unnatural. I have gotten so used to the lifestyle of busy that I find it difficult to go slow. I am so used to multi-tasking that I can’t focus on just one thing. So, I am working on it.
Because, this is the reason I decided to be a work-at-home mom. Because I wanted to watch them grow, and learn, and play, and adventure. But, I often don’t take advantage. In an effort to get something done, I rush through an outing, I ask them to move quickly when they are just playing. I put my timeline on two kiddos who don’t have any timelines at all.
I don’t like this about myself.
I want to slow down.
I want to soak in the curiosity of my toddler and the squishiness of my baby. I want to adventure with them and learn with them. I want to experience the wonder of discover all over again.
So, I am putting out (and accepting for myself) a Slow Motherhood Challenge.
Each month, I am going to challenge myself to do one thing that slows things down. That allows me to make the most of my little ones and sees the world through their eyes.
In doing so, I really hope to get away from my “busy-ness” and prevent life from passing me by. To pay such close attention that I actually remember the funny way he says “girl” and the smell of his head.
So, check back each month, as I issue a slow motherhood challenge. And join me, won’t you? First challenge: Write.
December 2019: Get Outside, No Matter What
November 2019: A Moment Between Holidays
October 2019: Take a Hike
September 2019: Write
I love this post! It’s been great to see how this quarantine has made many of us slow down. This is a great idea for moms (or dads) who want to be present with their kids!
It really is. I wrote a few weeks ago in a newsletter about finding a few practices from this time to keep as we get back to a more normal life. And I hope parents keep some of the slowness. It is so good for all of us. Thank you Christy for commenting!
I too sometimes rush my kiddo through things, and looking back it makes me sad. I love the idea of slowing down to appreciate motherhood more, for our own sake and our children’s!
I know Kari. I do the same. That is how this started. A day would end and I would wonder where it went and why I didn’t feel like I connected with them even when I spent the whole day with them. And it broke my heart. Or I would rush to and from places out of habit and it would make me anxious. I am still definitely working on all of it, but I have gotten better and I think it is better for them. It is definitely better for me!
These last few months (as we are forced to slow down) are actually a blessing in disguise. I have loved slowing down and watching my children grow. They are each at such a different stage but yet work so well together. I also try to make a home cooked breakfast a few times a week (lets face it sometimes they eat cereal LOL) and it feels sooo good!
This is so awesome. I feel the same. We found our way into a groove and I am enjoying watching them grow as well (I have the start of a new slow motherhood challenge called “Watch them Grow”). Good for you Yana. I am sure your little ones will remember this time fondly!
Girl, you and me both! I think slowing down is key to a lot of our stressors. Thanks for posting this!
Oh, I hope you can slow down this week Leslie and hopefully it will eliminate some of those stressors!
I have never heard the term “slow” in regards to this topic. But I like it. I am a doer. If I am not productive, I feel like I have wasted a day. What things did I check off on my to-do list? I have really tried recently to just be present, and know that just playing with my son is enough. It’s been especially hard during covid. Thank you for this reminder 🙂
Thank you for your comment, Kim. I was the same way. I started slowing down when I realized that around ten o’clock at night, I hadn’t sat down once. I realized I might be missing out by doing, doing, doing. It is hard to stop but worth it. And, with Covid, the nervous energy has been especially hard to manage (as well as trying to get it all done with no childcare, no parks, no a lot!).
Never thought of the idea of getting a watch good looking out with this fabulous idea me personally would stick to my normal routine my phone then my daughter but I’m going to get a watch which will be also beneficial to pick up my actual bible instead of my phone so a two and one combo who would think a watch could be such a help lol thank you
It has really changed things for me. I don’t accidentally find myself mindlessly reading texts or checking email when I’m with my kids. Thanks for commenting Deanna!