The Do-Less Challenge

This year, instead of resolutions, I am going to do the opposite. Instead of trying to fit in more exercise, more reading, or something along those lines, I am going to try to do less. And do the things that I do, better. I am challenging myself to eliminate things from my to-do list. To really focus on the things that matter. And to disregard all but the essential. I am calling it my “do-less challenge.” I hope you’ll join me.

Why a Do-Less Challenge?

We take on too much. Between our careers and our kids, our homes and our relationships, we are constantly working on something. And if we aren’t working on it, we are thinking about it (like at three in the morning when we wake up in a cold sweat remembering that there’s a half day tomorrow). In an effort to give our kids everything that they need and want, give our clients our best effort, maintain our health, look our best, be good friends and partners, we are running ourselves ragged.

We do not need to do it all.

Say it with me: WE DO NOT NEED TO DO IT ALL.

Yes, I hear you. If you don’t do it, who will? To be honest, I don’t know the answer to that, yet.

As I look at a sink full of dirty dishes and a pile of unfolded laundry, I have a sense of anxiety that if I do less, our world might crumble. I know I am exaggerating, but just the thought of doing less fills many of us with a sense of unease. But, if we were to do a little less, in the long run could we get back a feeling of ease? My guess is that yes, a life of a little less is ultimately going to be a life of a lot more.

And, as part of my effort to slow down and savor this motherhood journey, I need to do a little less.

So, in order to not do it all, I am doing a “do-less challenge.”

What Would Doing Less Look Like?

For me, doing less means more time for the things that matter. It means saying yes to lunch with a girlfriend I haven’t caught up with in awhile or helping a new mom friend with her new baby rather than

It means being more present with my kids when we are playing because I am not worried about getting one more project done.

It means deepening my relationships by being present. It means worrying less about my list. It means not having the “I wish I didn’t have to go to this event” feelings. It means having the courage to say no to “busy” and yes to rest. It means more play and less stress. It means more rest.

Doing less is about focusing on progress, and not perfection. Knowing that sometimes, good enough is enough. And sometimes, not done is also enough.

To me the do-less challenge will help me get away from the “supposed tos” and “have tos” in life to create more time for the “get tos.”

Doing less means enjoying more.

How Does a “Do-Less Challenge” Work?

For me, I am going to regularly review my to-do list. Then I am going to be honest with myself and cross things off.

Say “No” More

In order to do less, I must say no more. This is not going to be easy to me. I am an over-committer by nature. I always try to fit more into a day than possible, especially when it comes to social invites. I am going to focus on saying no more often to social invites.

Not all, of course. Birthdays and dinners and all of these things are enjoyable and what this life is made of. I love watching the kids play with their friends and bond with their cousins. I love catching up with my old friends.

But, do we really need to go to every school carnival, every one of our town’s festivals? No. We don’t. We are going to say no. And, if the day arrives, and we are bored, then we can go. But, I am going to plan to attend fewer functions.

I am also going to be more mindful of what activities we do agree to. I am going to work on saying yes out of a desire to have fun, build relationships, and relax with the people I love. I am not going to say yes out of obligation or fear.

By saying no, I will leave a little room in our schedules to say yes to things that really matter, like last minute plans with close friends, spontaneous play, and rest.

More Childcare

This one is tough, as I don’t have enough childcare. But, I am going to commit to getting more childcare.

Yes, I know. I work at home specifically to spend time with the kids. And, yes, I know, I work at home so that our childcare expenses are less than my income (they weren’t a few years ago. That was silly!).

But, if it will save a bit of time to get a babysitter and run a few errands (rather than bringing the kids with me – no one loves that) or will give me a little much-needed alone time, then I am going to make it a priority. If I can knock out something in half the time that I would with them, I am going to ask for help with them so I can get back to them, which is the whole point of all of this anyway.

I am not talking about full time childcare. That isn’t the right choice for us as a family right now. I am just talking about one or two regular shifts a week that will allow me to get a few extra things done in a much easier and quicker way and to give me a little free time to myself.

Fewer Clients

Last year, I purposefully did not add any clients to my business. I am going to do the same this year. This is not sustainable in the long-term, as it will be impossible to grow or sustain my business if I lose any clients.

But, for 2020, I am going to keep my client list purposefully small. And, I am going to treat these clients like the absolute VIPs that they should be. I will give my all to fewer clients in hopes that it reduces my workload a little, my stress a lot, and most importantly allows me to be of better service to each of them.

Enjoy More “Do Nothing” Days

When I was single, I would have a “do nothing” day every two or so weeks. I would sit on the couch and binge watch TV and nap all day. Sometimes I would do a little laundry or neaten up the kitchen or cook something cozy and relaxing, and sometimes I would watch rom-coms with a bunch of giggly girlfriends talking about the night before.

I never do this anymore. Obviously, times have changed and the kids need me. But, the spirit of the “do nothing” days can be implemented. We can take a breather from always needing to take an adventure and stay home. I can let the kids watch a little more TV than I am comfortable with in order for us all to get some R&R. And I can relax in knowing that I don’t need to fill their days with outings and agendas.

Ruthlessly Edit My To-Do List

This is the heart of the do-less challenge and where I will likely struggle the most. This is also the area that I need it the most. I will edit out the unnecessary and of the would-be-nice-ifs.

I will edit my to-do list to that which moves the needle forward in my business and goals, is absolutely essential, delegate the mandatory but not essential for me, or brings joy, presence, or connection to my life.

And I won’t be afraid to put off a few things every so often if it means spending more meaningful time with the kids or my friends and family.

What Might a Do-Less Challenge Look Like For You?

Are there things that you could say no to in order to have a little more freedom and joy in your life? What might your life look like if you said no to the unnecessary? Could you use a little more down time (my guess is that absolutely, yes. You could. You’re a mom, right? We could all use a little more down time!).

Can you cross something off your list today that might make room for a little more spontaneity, presence, or rest? How would that feel? My guess is that it might help make room for a little joy and a little rest.

Will you join me on the do-less challenge?