Self-Care at Home for Moms During Quarantine

Most days, we put everyone else first. Our kids, our work, the house, everything comes before we take care of ourselves. During quarantine, this is no different, probably even worse. Now we have all of the demands, all at the same time. And most of us have less time to take care of ourselves. But because we are taking care of everyone else, it even more important to practice self-care at home for moms.

We have so much stress with a global pandemic, our kids home 100% of the time, very little privacy, no social life, very little family support, and financial uncertainties. Add to that, trying to educate our kids, keep them busy without going to the regular places with their friends, and keep the house at least reasonably neat when they are there, making messes, ALL THE TIME! and it is a recipe for a stress-storm.

In order to survive, we need to practice a little self-care.

Self-care is always important. During challenging times (like now!), it is essential.

And I am not about to suggest a spa day, any DIY beauty treatments (although I do have a few of those, here), or even the usual ideas of meditation, movement, and healthy food (although, please do those too!).

Just small, simple acts of self-care kindness to help recharge, fight burnout, and help us feel almost normal in this time of overwhelm.

Every once in a while, we need to put ourselves first. Wholeheartedly, without guilt. Because, not only do we deserve it, but the only way to take care of others so selflessly is to take care of ourselves.

A Few Ideas for Self-Care at Home for Moms:

1. Say no.

The other day, I was on a zoom call with friends. My toddler was climbing all over me, hitting my face, demanding to be fed, trying to grab my phone. You know, being a toddler. I was getting frustrated. A few of my friends were getting frustrated with the distraction.

I got irritated. I felt judged. I was frustrated that I couldn’t have a lingering conversation. And then I realized, hey, I am not enjoying this. Why am I doing it?

Then, I thought, “seriously, why?”

So, I got off the phone. I put it away and gave my kiddos the undivided attention they deserve. I started dinner and had a glass of wine.

It wasn’t a perfect evening, but it was nice.

We have a standing zoom date every week, and I decided that it isn’t for me. There are seven days each week. I want to use them to connect with my closest friends, my family, and to step away.

I know that many of us aren’t busy right now. With isolation, there are no dinners and parties. No networking events and concerts. We are at home. Doing, well…very little. That doesn’t mean we have to say yes to everything that is offered.

We can say no to the things that don’t serve us, even if we don’t have anything else to do. Without an excuse. Just, “no. I am not going to do that.” Not, “not right now.” Not, “maybe.” Not, “no, but…” Just, “No.”

We can just say no. Not because we are busy, but because we don’t want to.

2. Make yourself lunch first.

I know… this sounds ridiculous, but as moms at home with kids, how often do we eat the kids’ leftovers, scarf down something cold from last night, or forget to eat altogether?

Yeah, me too. Way more than I’d like to admit. And I can feel it.

A few days ago, I made myself lunch first.

I made an amazing sandwich with sliced tomatoes, chopped shallots, and goddess dressing. I picked fresh parsley from our “garden,” got out the blender, toasted the bread. The whole bit. I poured myself a glass of sparkling water with a spritz of lemon.

Then, I sat down. I ate it slowly, mindfully, and with both hands.

It lasted about three minutes before my little one crawled on my lap and helped himself and my big one wondered where his sandwich was. But, those three minutes were glorious. And, I am still thinking about that sandwich.

It was such a simple act. But, one of the ways I show I care is through good food. Why am I not showing myself this?

3. Let them watch a little TV (or play on an iPad, your phone, whatever) while you do….whatever you want.

Most of the time, when my big guy is watching TV, it is because I am doing something else that I need to do: putting the little one to bed, trying to cook dinner, cleaning up, or trying to get an urgent project done.

But, last week, for a few minutes at least, I let him watch TV while I read, while I checked email (and not work email), scrolled Pinterest, and basically checked out. Yes, I know, I talk a lot about presence, and this is anything but. But sometimes, mindless scrolling is just what the mind and body need.

4. Just sit.

Have you ever had one of those days that right around dinner time, you realize that you have not sat down once, except maybe to drive someone somewhere? Yeah, me too. It’s exhausting. On days like this, my body aches at the end of the day.

Sitting goes against our nature as mothers. We take every single opportunity to do the next thing on our list. The kids are eating – clean the kitchen. They are playing together – answer those last few emails. They are napping – work on the big project. There is no downtime to parenting.

This is not slow motherhood. This is not being present. And it is not taking care of myself at all. And, I have found that during quarantine, I am doing less of it. I have somehow sped up when I should be slowing down.

So, I am working on just sitting.

When they are playing independently, I sit on the couch and watch them for a few minutes. I sit down while they eat (and eat something with them). When they have their zoom calls for school, I sit and listen to the teachers with them (for a few minutes, at least).  

A few times last week, I let my older one watch TV while the little one was napping, and I sat down next to him with my feet UP, snuggled a bit, and relaxed. And I just sat until the nap was over.

It was luxurious.

5. Go to bed early.

I know, after the kids go to bed is the only time the house is quiet and you can get a few extra hours of work done. I get it. I am burning the midnight oil most nights too. It is one of the only ways to make the kind of progress that I need to make right now.

But, every once in a while, it feels so good to just go to bed. Like at 8:30. Put the kids down, wash your face, read a few pages, spray a little lavender essential oil, and go to bed. Without guilt.

You probably need the rest, we all do. I am working on taking one night each week to just put it all aside and go to bed.

And, it feels good.

And if you can’t find time for any of that, well…there’s always wine. Cheers to you mama! I’m probably drinking with you right now!

Btw, here are 21 Ways to Practice Self-Care as a WAHM, if you need more inspiration.

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