The Only Motherhood Advice You’ll Ever Need
I have one piece of motherhood advice: don’t listen to motherhood advice. This is truly the only motherhood advice you need.
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I am guilty of the same things you probably are. Searching Google for medical advice, reading Instagram captions for ideas on how to keep my kids busy, envious of these meticulously dressed (and impossibly neat!) preschoolers embarking on intricate art projects. I crowdsource reassurance from the treasured mom group text.
Of course, all of this is ok. It is ok to get support from our friends and guidance from our own mothers. It is ok to listen to the sometimes wise (although more often dated) nuggets from the grandmas behind us in the grocery store. It is ok to lean on Instagram for ideas and generalized encouragement.
But not too much.
We already know how to mother.
More importantly, we know how to mother our own kids, our own way.
Your Way is the Right Way
Trust your instincts. Trust that YOU, and only you, know your child best. All the experienced grandmas, bloggers, and childless friends (some of whom seem to have the most advice) may know children.
Your pediatrician, your nanny, your child psychologist neighbor all know children. They may be experts. But they don’t know your children the way you do.
They don’t know you and they don’t know your children. They don’t know your strengths, weaknesses and needs. They don’t know your kids’ nuanced personalities. And they don’t know the relationship you have with your kids.
Every child is different and responds differently to different methods (just ask any mom of more than one whose first gave up diapers so easily and whose second revolted). And every mom is different. Some of us are great at leprechaun traps and epic candy charcuterie boards. Others are excellent pitchers and bike riders. Some make gourmet, kid-friendly, healthy dinner. Some are the first to jump into the pool, play tag, or run through the sprinklers while others prefer to watch from a splash-free distance. Some handle a crisis well and have a seemingly endless supply of patience with their kids whining. We are all doing it the best we know how.
Of course, there are some general pieces of wisdom and truths. Kids do better with structure. There is no such thing as too much love. Attention and autonomy are the two things that every kid (and person) wants. But how you do this, is entirely up to you.
Just Show Up and Love Them
Find a way to structure your life that works for all of you. Find ways to show your kids you care that are uniquely you. Give them the amount of attention at the times that work for all of you.
Every mom is uniquely themself. And we just need to trust ourselves and our intuition. You can do this. You know exactly how to do it and you have all the tools you need. Sometimes, those tools need a little sharpening, but you have them.
So, don’t listen to the advice. You’ve got this!
By the way, I am still going to keep giving motherhood advice ;).
