Slow Motherhood Challenge: Do Nothing

A few months ago, if you asked me, “What happens when you don’t keep the kids busy? If you stay at home and do nothing?” I would have answered that they would get stir crazy and eventually getting whiny and frustrated. We would all lose our patience. I thought that I had to keep finding new activities (always outside) to make sure that we all had a nice day.

When we would occasionally have a more relaxed day and they would lose it at the end of the day, I would blame the fact that we did nothing.

Yesterday we did nothing.

We puttered around the house, we had a picnic in our indoor tent (a permanent fixture these days), we napped together, and we took a long-time doing things that don’t take much time at all.

We had the definition of a slow day.

And they weren’t stir crazy. They did not get whiny. They were not frustrated or bored.

They were relaxed.

We did nothing and they enjoyed it.

The difference? I was engaged.

I listened. I sat on the floor. I fixed lunch, and then ate it with them, slowly and quietly. We rhymed, we told stories, we imagined the monsters were chasing us.

And like many of you, we didn’t leave the house. Not even a short walk around the neighborhood.

It took a pandemic for me to realize that they don’t need constant new and interesting activities. My kids are perfectly happy at home, playing together, playing with me, playing alone. They like the down time. Like most of us, they need it. They just need me to also do nothing with them.

So, my Slow Motherhood Challenge for May is less of a do and more of a…

Do Nothing

But do it with intention and meaning. Do nothing on purpose.

Let them decide what games to play, if any. Let them determine the lunch schedule and how long to sit on the floor. Do not plan anything and see where the day leads.

Do nothing, but stay engaged with them.

Will you be bored? My guess is yes. I certainly was. Will you want to check your phone? I sure

did, but I left it in the office most of the day so couldn’t get distracted by it. But it was a nice kind of bored. It was the lingering, dreamy kind. The “staring at their little faces and noticing a change since just last week” kind of boredom. The “I know this is a tiny part of our big life and I am so lucky to be here” kind.

It is the kind of boredom that we all want when we are so busy rushing around, but rarely take the time to actually have it. It is the kind of boredom that slows down the years so that we can remember the way our baby said, “ball” and how he beams when he sees his big brother.

We have been given the gift of time. I realize that this doesn’t feel like a gift, and isn’t in most ways. But, we many of us have more time. Most of us are at home, with not much to do besides work, house, and kids. No socialization, no parties, no school. We have extra time on our hands that couldn’t be filled (even if we wanted to).

So for this month’s Slow Motherhood Challenge, I invite you to take the time to fill it with nothing. But, to be engaged and on purpose with your nothingness. To be a follower, to slow it down, and to engage with your kids. Get a little bored today, ok?