5 Steps to Simplify Our Children’s Lives

Here are 5 steps to simplify our children’s lives. It took a global pandemic for me to get here. Hoping I can keep working on these after all of this is over.

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A few months ago (or was it years?), the kids’ school was closed because of the COV-19. The Friday before, I knew it was likely coming, but was dreading that email. What was I going to do without my two precious days with childcare? How was I going to get anything done? How was I going to keep the kids busy? How? What? How? What?

I spiraled.

Then, I went to Shabbat happy hour, and realized I was not alone. My fellow moms (and a few dads) were all concerned about what we might do for two weeks with our kids. God forbid. I vented to a few friends, allowed the stress to get the better of me, and then went to bed, already exhausted.

I woke up in the wee hours of the morning, still feeling stressed. Still spinning. Still wondering “what? how? what? how?” Obviously, my anxiety was getting the better of me.

Reframing It

I realized, I had no control over any of this, so I would have to figure it out. At the time, I didn’t realize that we would be at home for what is looking like 12+ weeks. And I am so grateful, because I would have really spun out of control!

I needed to reframe my thinking on this. There was nothing I could do about childcare, but there was a lot I could do about managing our time, work and play.

It was scheduled to rain the entire week (somewhat unusual for us), so I thought, let’s get creative.

I realized, this could be a much needed break. A time to readjust our lives. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get it all done (spoiler: I just didn’t get it all done. And it was ok) but taking this break with them could be an opportunity.

Creating An Opportunity for Slowness

Once I took the time to reframe this, I realized what an awesome opportunity. I could use this time to simplify things with my kids. To embrace slow mornings (we don’t have to be anywhere. In fact, we shouldn’t go anywhere). It could be a time to spend time at home and remind myself to let them lead. We have no schedule for two weeks, just the rhythms of their lives.

How wonderfully simple.

And I began to get excited for a few simple weeks.

Why Simplify Our Children’s Lives?

We all thrive when we simplify.

When we slow down and let the day flow, we can all feel how it eases our hearts and slows our minds.

How when we let our little ones lead, we can feel ourselves unwind. How those easy weekends leave us feeling refreshed rather than the more common feelings of overwhelmed and overscheduled.

And if it does this for us, imagine what simplification can do for our little ones?

Yet, for some reason, we resist simplification.

When we slow down and simplify our lives, we discover things about our kids. We give ourselves time to breathe.

Mostly we create the space that we all need to thrive.

So, I took the opportunity to create a simple week. I did some planning, of course. But, with no schedules and no “have tos” just a few ideas of what we could do to spend some easy time together. And I came up with a few things to do that can simplify our lives.

5 Ways to Simplify Our Children’s Lives

1. Get outside

It is so important to get outside with kids every day. I watch my kids’ moods improve (and my own). I watch them explore and investigate. I watch my preschooler’s imagination run wild (and his little body follows).

We breathe deeply, with relief. Their cheeks get wonderfully rosy and I feel my heart beating exactly as it should be. And, we all sleep better that night.

I have written before about how important it is to get outside every day, and in order to simplify life, this is one of the most important things to do. The outdoors are simpler and more wonder-inducing than most of our homes. Kids can be kids in the best way possible when they are outside. And it is one of the most precious things I can think of.

2. Minimize schedules

This was a given the moment school was cancelled. We now only had one thing on our agenda all week, swim class (which almost immediately got cancelled). After that, we could just spend time together, mostly at home. Rather than letting it stress me out, I reminded myself what a gift this is.

We could linger on our walks. We didn’t need to rush through breakfast or getting dressed. We could play instead of loading up the car. With no schedule, we could be free to just be.

3. Think about the rhythm of the day

Without a schedule, we are able to follow their bodies’ rhythms. With two little ones with conflicting schedules, this isn’t always easy. But, following their rhythms keeps things simple. Someone is tired? Let’s go home and rest. We are hungry? Ok, let’s sit down and have a picnic. We are energized? Let’s get running.

With no “have tos,” we are able to do what we want and need to do without the stress of time. We can make time to rest and time to run, and it feels exactly right.

While I loved the idea of a rhythm before, being home all of these weeks has made me a huge advocate of the rhythm of the day. It works for my work day and for the kids. We are all more at ease (and I am more productive) when we follow rhythms rather than set schedules. I know we won’t have this luxury when we go back to work and school, but I hope that I can take this lesson with us for our vacations and weekends.

4. Reduce clutter

This is obvious, of course. But one of the best ways to simplify our children’s lives (and our own) is to reduce clutter. Get rid of duplicate, broken, or no-longer-loved toys. Hide ones that aren’t getting played with, but might later.

Even though we have resisted the urge, almost completely, to buy any toys for our kids, I still find that we have too many.

This is overwhelming for them (or maybe just me). So, I hide a little over half of the toys. I let them play with some, and when I notice they seem to be getting bored with them or when my preschooler asks about a specific toy, I rotate them out.

Side note: In Play Pandemic (a guide that I love), she says that it should only take 60 seconds to clean your kids’ rooms. How lovely would that be? So, reduce the clutter and simplify your kids’ lives!

5. Reduce screen time

I have read that the indoors is at once over-stimulating and boring to kids. Screen time gets them ramped up, but doesn’t actually burn any of their energy. Reducing screen time (theirs AND ours) is a wonderful way to simplify our lives.

When I first learned of the school’s closure, I had a feeling that I might need to rely a little heavier on screen time in order to get things done, get the baby to sleep without interruption, and have a few minutes of alone time. I didn’t realize how much I would rely on it.

After a few weeks, I realized it was a little out of control. With the rain early and no activities, I ended up increasing our screen time. And, many weeks in, am ok with it. We have figured out a better balance for now and some expectations around screen time.

I have (in an effort to simplify my children’s lives) made it more mindful. We have had a few “movie” days and made them special. I made flavored popcorn and we cozied on the couch while the baby slept.

I also decided that I would work on reducing my own. I leave the house without my phone, I focus on the movie that we chose together, and I do my best to only work while they are napping or playing independently.

While not anywhere near where I think I should be, I am working on being more mindful in order to focus on them (seems like I am always working on this!).

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It is easier said than done to simplify our children’s lives. It is almost tragic that a pandemic forced me to take this time to get to know them and just be with them, but I am grateful that we were given this time. And, I am looking forward to next week’s simple, easy, adventures.

I realize how important it is to intentionally create time and space to simplify our lives. I often find that I start a great habit and then life happens. Simplifying our lives is one that I hope to hold onto, and eight weeks in, am hoping it sticks! I love the closeness I feel with both of them, the space it is giving me to get to know them better, and the feeling of restfulness that I end the day with when I do slow things down.

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