How To Enjoy The Holidays as A Minimalist
Yes, it is possible to enjoy the holidays as a minimalist. You might enjoy it more…
Just the other day, I saw a Christmas Tree. I was driving home from a Halloween party and I saw a Christmas tree, 100 feet tall, shining boldly green in the night sky, at a mall.
And you know what happened? I immediately felt overwhelmed. I began thinking about a tree, and presents, and outfits, and holiday cards, and hostess gifts, and, and, and….
And then I took a breath and thought, “that can’t be right? Can it?” But then, I realized, yes of course it is. It’s November. The official-unofficial start to the holidays. At least for retail.
I hadn’t even taken my Halloween decorations down, and I was already feeling overwhelmed. The holidays should not be this stressful. They shouldn’t be full of “do more” and “buy more.” They can be just as lovely (perhaps even more lovely) without all of that extra. They can be a time when we do less, are present, and enjoy our kids wonder, without all of the stress that some holiday traditions bring.
And after that moment in the car when I felt my heart tighten, I knew that I needed to step back and enjoy the holidays as a minimalist. Or at least as much of a minimalist as this former shopaholic, tend to go overboard, newish mama can.
You Don’t Have to Be a Minimalist to Enjoy Your Holidays as a Minimalist
I am not a minimalist. I’d love to be one, but between toddler birthday parties, the excessive shoe collection from my twenties, my husband’s need to store every piece of paper he’s ever received, my desire to hold onto everything with even the slightest sentimental value, and my fear that I might need something / fit into something / it might come back into style keeps me from minimalism.
Yes, I am aware that I should work on all of this, and I am. But for now, I am far from a minimalist.
But, this year, I am going to apply the principles of minimalism to our family’s Christmas.
Why? Because holidays as a minimalist mean:
- Less stress
- More room for spontaneity
- Not doing things I don’t want to do.
- Focusing on the things I want to focus on (like my kids’ joy, the traditions of giving, celebrating love, etc.)
It is Possible To Enjoy the Holidays As A Minimalist
A minimalist Christmas does not mean a boring Christmas. It doesn’t mean a Christmas without gifts or decorations. And it certainly doesn’t mean a holiday without parties, fun, or traditions.
Minimalism means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. To me, it just means simplifying. Saying no to some “obligations” and not planning so many ourselves. Selecting fewer, more meaningful gifts (many of them experiences, and all of them within a reasonable budget). Not going to every party or potluck just because we are invited, and keeping our home’s decorations to the ones that bring us joy (and are somewhat kid-proof!).
It means taking some of the pressure off of me, as a mom, and off my kids as well. It means, if they seem tired then maybe we will skip driving across town to look at another Christmas Tree Lane or block party.
Minimalism is The Opposite of Fear
Do you ever go to a party or an event because you are afraid that if you don’t, you’ll hurt someone’s feelings? Or you’ll miss out? Or your kids will be upset because they’ve missed out? Yeah? Me too.
This is unrealistic. Most of the time, the hostess understands. Most of the time, you will miss out, but it is worth it. And your kids will most certainly forget if they even notice.
We overextend ourselves because we are afraid to miss out. We overspend because we are afraid that someone will get us a better gift than we gave them. We buy extra gifts because we are afraid to attend a party empty handed. And we overdo it at home because we are afraid we won’t create precisely the memories we want our children to have.
By embracing minimalism, we can replace this fear with love, intention, purpose, and joy. And eliminate a lot less stress.
How To Enjoy The Holidays as A Minimalist
1. Be Intentional.
Make a decision to celebrate as a minimalist. This is the most important thing you can do. Decide what you want this year’s Christmas to be like. Determine the traditions you love and want to continue, and say no to the rest. Make lists of gifts you’d like to buy and say no to the rest.
Make a commitment to stick to your intention, and revisit it regularly throughout the season. It is so easy to get swept up in the “excitement” of the holidays that we start overspending, and overcommitting to plans, that we eventually are overwhelmed.
Be intentional about the changes you’d like to make this year. How will your family make this Christmas more about the joy surrounding the holidays and less about the stuff?
2. Buy Less.
This is the easiest and hardest part of any minimalist Christmas. I have been working on buying less for years. Fortunately, our kids are still young enough that they aren’t asking for specific gifts (our toddler loves presents, but it could be almost anything and he’s excited). I know that this is going to get harder as they see things their friends are getting. But for now, we limit our gifts to a few things they need and one big, fun gift.
For each other, we usually either skip it (last year, money was a little tight), buy something for us to do (we took a few weekend trips in years past), or buy something we need for the house. This year, I am getting us a family gift.
For the nieces and nephews, we draw names. For the grandparents, we keep it very simple and every other year have a big weekend at a hotel in San Diego.
For everyone else, I pick one local store, make a list and knock it out. It eliminates a lot of stress by forcing myself to do all my shopping in one day from one great store.
Most importantly, I stick to my list. I do not let sales or beautiful displays distract me. I do not buy a little gift for myself, or pick up an extra something for a special niece because it looks like she’d love it.
3. Say No.
Say no to plans that don’t bring you and your family joy. Say no to the traditions that you are doing just because they are traditions. You don’t need to buy the biggest tree at the cut-your-own-tree lot if you are just doing it because you always do it. You can do something different. If you love doing it, that is another story.
Choose a few of your favorite holiday traditions and events, and say no to the rest.
You are going to get invites and there will be expectations that don’t line up with your idea of a minimalist holiday season. Be ready for that, and say no without worry or fear. You are designing your holidays with intention this year, remember? Part of that is saying no, and not worrying about the expectations. And, most of the time, people will understand.
4. Create Meaningful Traditions.
In years past, we have done a lot of things just to do them. This year, I am focusing on creating a few family traditions that create meaning. We are going to have a DIY gift making night so that my toddler has an opportunity to make something for us, rather than shop. We are going to let him decorate our tree with his favorite ornaments, and I am already planning on saying no to a few “traditional” events.
We will still get in the car to look at lights, but not as often. We will definitely drink hot chocolate and snuggle on the couch. We may even take a family picture for holiday cards, but I am not holding myself to that.
We are going to make sure that the way we spend our holidays reflects our values of family, joy, fun, and laughter. We will put each other ahead of things. We will do this by actually spending time with our loved ones, rather than spending time (and money) shopping for them.
And we may even take a little vacation. Just us, enjoying each others’ company.
We are going to simplify as much as possible to make time for each other.
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The holidays don’t need to be as stressful and overwhelming as we sometimes let them be. If we are intentional about creating a more meaningful and minimal Christmas, we can reduce some of this stress. We can also focus on the things that are most important, like creating memories with our kids, starting new traditions that focus on people and not things, and free up some of our time so we can actually enjoy this special time of the year.
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